Our mother was a gift giver, a consistent,
enthusiastic gift giver. Maybe you knew this about her, maybe you didn’t. But
for as long as I can remember, Mom went out of her way to give special gifts to
myself and my sisters on birthdays, holidays, and the regular days in between. Many
of these gifts were material – Nintendo consoles, Doodle Bears, roller blades, Hanson
CDs, and our annual “you’re going to need this later” Christmas stocking full
of socks, hair ties, toothbrushes, and, ironically, roll after roll of
Lifesavers Hard Candies. But more often than not, the gifts Mom gave us came in
the form of lessons learned and the example she lived for us and now has left
with and to us.
Today I want to honor Mom’s memory
by sharing some of those gifts with you all.
Throughout our childhoods, Mom
taught us to value our families (especially our siblings), to love and
appreciate music and National Public Radio, to recognize and respect
educational opportunity and to work hard to excel academically, to take time to
listen to the stories of our Aunt G and grandparents, and to be truly kind to
all we meet, looking others in the eye, offering them a firm handshake and her
famous greeting of, “It’s so nice to know you.”
Mom taught us to do to the simple
things like tie our shoes, braid our hair (although Ally and Shelby excelled
more in this area than I), to keep our spaces clean and tidy (none of us
excelled in this area), and to have gratitude for the blessings of home and
security that we had been given. She opened our homes to friends, let the
living room become a Friday-night bed-sheet fort, and crawled right in with us
to play and just be.
Mom taught us to be creative
without regard for whether it was “right” or not. She taught us to read and encouraged
us to use our imaginations and to dream. She scratched our backs when we
couldn’t sleep and sang us both into the night and up with the dawn each
morning. Her favorite morning song when I was a child, I now realize, was more
or less a weary young mother’s plea, “Eva, don’t be grumpy. Let’s have a real
fun day.”
Mom let us be who we were. If you
look at photographs from 1992 – on, you will certainly see that she let us
dress ourselves, for better or worse, and she encouraged us to own our
individuality.
Of course, we all know that Mom
gave us the gift of contagious laughter. When I couldn’t find her after church
services here at FBC Cornelia, I’d just hang out in the hallway until I heard
her laughter echoing somewhere in the building and follow it straight to her.
One thing I’ve been reflecting on
in the past few days is just how many people remember Mom for her laugh. It is
comforting to think of the great amount of joy that Mom put into the world just
by laughing in her own special way.
(BREATHE. YOU ARE DOING GREAT. IT’S
ALL FOR MOM.)
Mom taught us to work hard and
showed us the value of loving your work, often taking us to meetings at the
printers in Mobile or with her to staff the convention hall at CBF General
Assemblies across the southeast. One thing that will always stick with me is
the way Mom lit up when interacting with her coworkers. She brought this
wonderful mix of sincerity and humor to her work and work relationships that
made her so fun to be around and brought out even more of the outrageous and
hilarious sides of her coworkers.
Ally, Shelby, and I made lasting friendships
with her CBF community, hanging out in her office on “sick” days, often setting
up our own VHS entertainment center in the CBF conference room complete with snacks,
movies, and the occasional staffer on break who decided to join in on the fun.
Mom’s willingness to let us participate in her work gave us ownership over a
movement and a sense of belonging in a greater faith community that I know each
of us will carry with us throughout our lifetimes.
Mom gave us the gift of a deep and
real faith. A faith that valued asking questions just as much as accepting
doctrine. A faith that required service to others. A faith that she challenged
us to accept for ourselves. A faith that has carried us through to today.
It’s difficult to narrow down all
of the gifts Mom gave us in our younger days, because my mind keeps coming back
to the gifts Mom gave us throughout the last eight months as we walked with her
through treatments for her cancer. I could go on and on about her strength and
courage, her will to protect me and my sisters from the pain of realizing how
dire her illness was, the kindness she showed nurses and doctors, the grace
with which she accepted hard news, and the sheer determination that kept her
living well beyond anyone’s expectations, but I just want to share the greatest
gift she gave us – her love.
Mom shared her love in so many
ways, through so many varied gifts of her spirit. But one gift stands out in
particular. Last Christmas, Mom slipped this small children’s book into our
Christmas tree for all of us to find on Christmas morning. The book is called,
“You Are God’s Gift to Me.” In it, Mom wrote a prophetic message that says more
than I ever could about her love. It reads:
To my 3 Amazing Daughters,
This tiny book says so much of the
way I feel for you. When you look back at Christmas 2012, I hope you’ll
remember and you’ll feel that you were loved well and will be forever. I love
you more.
-Mom
